In my battles with depression and anxiety the most important aspect has always been the support of those around me. It is at these times the people who really care for you come into their own. I have always been lucky to have good support from my family and friends.
When my anxiety and depression kicks in my self confidence (which is never great to start with) plummets. I begin to doubt everything about myself and feel that who I am is not enough. I don’t like who I am and can’t see any reason why other people would either. I question whether I am worth anything or just a burden to everyone around me. It can be very hard to counter these thoughts especially as my problems worsen and I struggle to determine what are genuine thoughts and feelings and what is caused solely by my depression. It is at times like this the people around me are important to keep me grounded and focused on reality. They are what let me know I am not worthless and that I can keep going. That it is worth fighting on because I do matter to other people and can have a positive impact on their lives. They give me a reason to keep on living just by showing me that I matter to them.
Even small things like sending me a message to ask how I am can make a huge difference. I have cried for nearly half an hour on occasions after a friend has texted out of the blue because it has made me realise that someone cares just a little and until that point I didn’t know anyone did. Even better are times when someone has visited me or asked to do something together. It makes such a difference knowing someone wants to spend time with you especially when they initiate it and you don’t have to ask people as at these times it feels like you are constantly taking from people and giving nothing in return becoming a burden.
There will be times when life gets too much and I need to ask people for support. Knowing there are people around who will answer my call is a massive relief and source of comfort. Having people to listen to me and sometimes provide an alternative view is vital to working through my problems. Those who help with day to day tasks whether it be a little cleaning, providing food or driving me about are also vital. All these things take a huge effort when I am struggling and getting that extra help is massive to me.
Those who are there when I do manage to summon the energy to venture out and try things are also a massive help. Having someone around who knows what I am going through and is understanding can be the only thing that makes a trip out manageable.
There are many people who have helped me over the years and I am extremely grateful to them all. Without you I would not have been able to cope with so much of what has happened. You have helped me understand that I am a decent person and not hated by all as my head often leads me to believe. For that I will always be thankful.
I also know many people don’t know how to help friends or family members who struggle with mental health. All I can say is make sure they know you care about them and value them as a person. That can be enough to change a person’s whole day. If you can make a little effort to spend some time with them that is fantastic but even asking about them or sending a little positive message can make a difference. When you feel completely worthless and alone as I do so often every bit of comfort no matter how small is worth its weight in gold. As someone who has battled for years and received many such nuggets from family and friends I can attest to that. My family and friends have kept me sane these last few years.
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